Tag Archives: argument

The First Principles of Verbal Jiu-Jitsu

You are seeing a newly booked patient in your jail medical clinic. He states he has been in jails before, many times, and is always given a second mattress and an extra pillow because he had surgery on his back many years ago. You note that the patient has not seen a doctor on the outside for many years, that the patient walks and moves normally and that he has a normal neurological examination. You tell the patient that medical does not give out passes for extra mattresses or pillows. The patient angrily erupts in a blaze of obscenities and threatens a lawsuit.

Manipulation happens when a patient wants something that they should not have (like an extra mattress and pillow) and will not accept “NO” for an answer. In my last JailMedicine post, I outlined the strategies patients employ in an attempt to entice or force practitioners to change a No to a Yes. This patient is employing the “threatening” strategy.

Verbal Jiu-Jitsu is the technique of deflecting and defusing manipulative confrontations. Notice that I did not use the word “defeating.” That is because the first and most important rule of Verbal Jiu-Jitsu is to remember that this is not a war or a contest! There should be no “battle of wills” between you and your patient. There is no winner or loser. Instead, you and your patient are having a conversation. The whole goal of Verbal Jiu-Jitsu is to avoid any kind of verbal battle. Continue reading